Are you wondering what women do that turn men off? Have you ever had a date that you thought went spectacularly only to be disappointed with him not calling you again? Do you suspect that you may be saying or doing some things that are driving the guys away? There are a few things that are more disappointing that going out with a great guy, having a great time and then watching him run away because of something that you didn't even realize you were doing. This is why it's important to know what turns guys off so you can avoid them.
Ranting about your exes. If you're on the first couple of dates with a guy, one thing that you should never do is rant about your ex boyfriends-yes, even though you have the right to. Don't share your heartbreak and anger about how Jeff was afraid of commitment or what a control freak Tom was. This will make your date think that a) you have serious issues with men b) you are not over your ex boyfriends c) you will also bad-mouth him if you break-up.
Being too aggressive. Simply put, men prefer it if they can do the chase. A woman who obviously throws herself at men gives off the impression that she is desperate, or worse, that she has been around.
Talking about marriage and starting a family. If you seriously want to turn a guy off, then mentioning the phrase "settling down" is one of the sure-fire ways to do this. If it's your first date, you wouldn't want to be talking about the names you want to give your children and where you want them to go to school. This will surely send him running in the opposite direction.
Holding back. Many women make the mistake of thinking that confidence can turn a guy off when in fact, the opposite is true. A dependent and clingy type of gal who hangs on to her man's every word is hardly any guy's idea of a great date.
If you are looking for a system to make every man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you, click [http://www.unforgettablewoman.net]Unforgettable Woman Dating Advice. If you're ready for a highly effective method that's different from what every else is teaching, click 77 Secrets to [http://www.unforgettablewoman.net]Attract and Keep Him Now. You don't want to miss this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.
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Thursday, April 9, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Getting Over Jealousy - Relationship Problem Advice For the Long Haul by Pat Wilder
Good looks, fancy cars and a ton of money will do very little to keep your relationship running like a fine tuned engine. These things are great for making a first impression, but your attitude is the key to longevity in any relationship.
Great relationships work when competition stops and team work begins. Keep the competition for sporting events and out of your relationship. Everything will work and run a whole lot smother when you are both on the same team.
Conversation is a key element that is often overlooked. One sided conversations will go nowhere. Conversations can be about anything and everything, sharing plans and goals, discussing how good or bad each others day went and actually listening to what your mate has to say will pay out big dividends in the long run. Everyone has a need to speak and be heard at times. Being silent will bring about nothing but loneliness and a very unhappy and boring relationship.
Being possessive is a sure fire way to shorten your relationship. Always keep in mind, you can own homes and cars and all sorts of material things, but people can never be owned. Everyone needs their own space free of jealousy and possessiveness. From the beginning of time these two items alone are probably responsible for the undoing of many a great relationship. Coping with jealousy and getting over jealousy may be the toughest single item your relationship will suffer.
Relationships should be based on giving, not receiving. Bring romance to a higher level by keeping your partner first and foremost in your mind at all times. Letting your partner know that they are the most important part of your life will in turn bring many positive rewards back to you. Being selfish will gain you absolutely nothing. Keep romance alive after the newness has worn off and it will still be paying you dividends in your later years.
Working out the problems in your relationship means being flexible in how you deal with them. Work on the solutions that will work beneficially to both of you. Relationships are give and take. Always make sure you put a very strong emphasis on the give.
Smooth running relationships take a lot of hard work but no one can do everything by themselves. A basketball or football team cannot operate with just one person and neither can your relationship. Keep your communication lines open at all times and always keep in your mind that every argument has two sides to it. Work extremely hard at getting over jealousy. Work out a solution that will be agreeable to both of you and never ever go to bed angry. http://relationshipadvicesupertips.com Getting over Jealousy and keeping your relationship on track takes work. Trying to work with an uncooperative mate may take more advanced tactics. Find out more at http://relationshipadvicesupertips.com RelationshipAdviceSuperTips.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pat_Wilder http://EzineArticles.com/?Getting-Over-Jealousy---Relationship-Problem-Advice-For-the-Long-Haul&id=2171139
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Great relationships work when competition stops and team work begins. Keep the competition for sporting events and out of your relationship. Everything will work and run a whole lot smother when you are both on the same team.
Conversation is a key element that is often overlooked. One sided conversations will go nowhere. Conversations can be about anything and everything, sharing plans and goals, discussing how good or bad each others day went and actually listening to what your mate has to say will pay out big dividends in the long run. Everyone has a need to speak and be heard at times. Being silent will bring about nothing but loneliness and a very unhappy and boring relationship.
Being possessive is a sure fire way to shorten your relationship. Always keep in mind, you can own homes and cars and all sorts of material things, but people can never be owned. Everyone needs their own space free of jealousy and possessiveness. From the beginning of time these two items alone are probably responsible for the undoing of many a great relationship. Coping with jealousy and getting over jealousy may be the toughest single item your relationship will suffer.
Relationships should be based on giving, not receiving. Bring romance to a higher level by keeping your partner first and foremost in your mind at all times. Letting your partner know that they are the most important part of your life will in turn bring many positive rewards back to you. Being selfish will gain you absolutely nothing. Keep romance alive after the newness has worn off and it will still be paying you dividends in your later years.
Working out the problems in your relationship means being flexible in how you deal with them. Work on the solutions that will work beneficially to both of you. Relationships are give and take. Always make sure you put a very strong emphasis on the give.
Smooth running relationships take a lot of hard work but no one can do everything by themselves. A basketball or football team cannot operate with just one person and neither can your relationship. Keep your communication lines open at all times and always keep in your mind that every argument has two sides to it. Work extremely hard at getting over jealousy. Work out a solution that will be agreeable to both of you and never ever go to bed angry. http://relationshipadvicesupertips.com Getting over Jealousy and keeping your relationship on track takes work. Trying to work with an uncooperative mate may take more advanced tactics. Find out more at http://relationshipadvicesupertips.com RelationshipAdviceSuperTips.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pat_Wilder http://EzineArticles.com/?Getting-Over-Jealousy---Relationship-Problem-Advice-For-the-Long-Haul&id=2171139
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Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Top 3 Relationship Arguments, and How to Deal With Them by Will Irvin
As I've established, all relationships take work. Some relationships taka more work than others. And, almost all relationships have disagreements. So what do people disagree about? Various studies have shown that the top three things people argue about are money, sex, and children, and usually in that order.
Money - Studies have shown that the #1 relationship argument topic is money. Who's making the money? How will we spend it? How much of it is "mine" to spend? These are some of the questions that are often asked. The problem is, very rarely will you see two people in a realtionship that were raised with the same attitude toward money. That's why it is very important for both of you to sit down and talk about this...and often. Establish very clear guidelines for the relationship regarding a) how much money there is to spend, b) what it will be spent on, c) who is going to be in charge of actually "spending" the money (or if it is going to be a shared duty), and d) if there is going to be any "mad money" or money that can be spent on non-necessary items. It is very important to establish these guidelines early in a relationship, because money problems will lead to other problems, and will ultimately end most relationships, if not resolved.
Sex - The same problem often exists when dealing with sex as it does with dealing with money. Rarely do two people grow up with the same attitudes toward sex. Since sex is such an important part of romantic relationships (it is a basic human desire, after all), it is important to very important to establish early on what each others' opinions are on a) how often you should have sex, b) how adventurous the sex will be, and let's not forget..c) what the boundaries are regarding sex with other people. Monogamy is not the only way to go in some people's minds, and it will be very unpleasant to find this out after something has happened. So, talk openly with your partner about sex. Both of you need to know how it is going to affect the relationship.
Kids - I left this one for last, only because many couples do not have children, so it is not applicable to all relationships. However, if you are even considering having children with the person you're with, this needs to be discussed in detail. Again, most people have very differing views on how children should be raised. It is very important to know where your partner stands on topics such as a) how often and what types of encouragement and punishment will be used, b) what types of influences will be allowed (TV, music, books, environment, etc.), and c) what types of foods the child will be allowed to eat. These things may seem trivial, but trust me, any of these will cause great strife in the relationship if both partners do not agree, or compromise, on how to handle each of these topics. This is probably the area where the greatest compromise is necessary, becaue people's views on this subject are usually at opposite extremes from each other.
Certainly, these are not the only things couples disagree about, but they are by and far the most common. So, sit down with your partner (or potential partner), talk to them about these things, and develop clear guidelines for each of them, and it will remove great amounts of stress and strain on the relationship. Or, you may find that the differences are too great, and that the two of you are not compatible. If that is the case, you are both better off knowing beforehand.
Will Irvin is the author of Missing Pieces: 21 Secrets of a Successful Relationship, available in paperback, hardcover, or as a downloadable pdf. For more information on the book, visit the book website at http://missingpiecesthebook.com MissingPiecesTheBook.com
Will is also the Webmaster for http://premierdatingonline.com Premier Dating Online, a valuable source for Online Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, and Dating Service Reviews. As an active member of the Online Dating Community, as well as the Online Social Networking Community in general, Will brings that same "street-level" perspective into online relationships, online etiquette, and human relationships in general.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Will_Irvin http://EzineArticles.com/?Top-3-Relationship-Arguments,-and-How-to-Deal-With-Them&id=2138533
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Money - Studies have shown that the #1 relationship argument topic is money. Who's making the money? How will we spend it? How much of it is "mine" to spend? These are some of the questions that are often asked. The problem is, very rarely will you see two people in a realtionship that were raised with the same attitude toward money. That's why it is very important for both of you to sit down and talk about this...and often. Establish very clear guidelines for the relationship regarding a) how much money there is to spend, b) what it will be spent on, c) who is going to be in charge of actually "spending" the money (or if it is going to be a shared duty), and d) if there is going to be any "mad money" or money that can be spent on non-necessary items. It is very important to establish these guidelines early in a relationship, because money problems will lead to other problems, and will ultimately end most relationships, if not resolved.
Sex - The same problem often exists when dealing with sex as it does with dealing with money. Rarely do two people grow up with the same attitudes toward sex. Since sex is such an important part of romantic relationships (it is a basic human desire, after all), it is important to very important to establish early on what each others' opinions are on a) how often you should have sex, b) how adventurous the sex will be, and let's not forget..c) what the boundaries are regarding sex with other people. Monogamy is not the only way to go in some people's minds, and it will be very unpleasant to find this out after something has happened. So, talk openly with your partner about sex. Both of you need to know how it is going to affect the relationship.
Kids - I left this one for last, only because many couples do not have children, so it is not applicable to all relationships. However, if you are even considering having children with the person you're with, this needs to be discussed in detail. Again, most people have very differing views on how children should be raised. It is very important to know where your partner stands on topics such as a) how often and what types of encouragement and punishment will be used, b) what types of influences will be allowed (TV, music, books, environment, etc.), and c) what types of foods the child will be allowed to eat. These things may seem trivial, but trust me, any of these will cause great strife in the relationship if both partners do not agree, or compromise, on how to handle each of these topics. This is probably the area where the greatest compromise is necessary, becaue people's views on this subject are usually at opposite extremes from each other.
Certainly, these are not the only things couples disagree about, but they are by and far the most common. So, sit down with your partner (or potential partner), talk to them about these things, and develop clear guidelines for each of them, and it will remove great amounts of stress and strain on the relationship. Or, you may find that the differences are too great, and that the two of you are not compatible. If that is the case, you are both better off knowing beforehand.
Will Irvin is the author of Missing Pieces: 21 Secrets of a Successful Relationship, available in paperback, hardcover, or as a downloadable pdf. For more information on the book, visit the book website at http://missingpiecesthebook.com MissingPiecesTheBook.com
Will is also the Webmaster for http://premierdatingonline.com Premier Dating Online, a valuable source for Online Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, and Dating Service Reviews. As an active member of the Online Dating Community, as well as the Online Social Networking Community in general, Will brings that same "street-level" perspective into online relationships, online etiquette, and human relationships in general.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Will_Irvin http://EzineArticles.com/?Top-3-Relationship-Arguments,-and-How-to-Deal-With-Them&id=2138533
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Sunday, March 29, 2009
How to Experience Better Relationships By Bryan Appleton
We all want to experience better relationships in our lives. For some people this is an easy thing to do. But, for many others it can seem almost impossible to attract the kinds of people into their lives that they can have the kind of relationship that they really desire. Feeling this way can keep someone from experiencing a full and complete life. So, is there a way that you can make sure that you experience better relationships in your life?
Of course there is! There are lots of people who find that they can experience better relationships when they start to feel better about themselves and their lives. If you want to be able to receive something, you have to be able to give it in return. So, you have to be in a position where you feel as though you can provide someone else with what they desire and then you will be ready to receive what you really want.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
There are many ways that you can begin to experience better results in your life, but you have to be able to at first want to have this happen badly enough that you are willing to change how you think and feel about love and dating and relationships in general. If you already have a very negative outlook, you are not going to be able to feel the romance that you really want in life.
You can learn how to attract better results in your life and this includes what you experience in a relationship as well. All you have to do is want to change and start looking for a way.
Learn how to attract love, money, or happiness or all three in YOUR LIFE NOW! Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter and BOOKMARK the site and return as often as you can!
You can attract the life that you truly desire! Learn HOW! http://www.successfulfather.com/signup/Law of Attraction Secrets
Bryan Appleton is an investor/entrepreneur who has dedicated himself to teaching others how to achieve their dream life. He is also a proud single father with one son.
You can publish this article as long as you leave it intact and in full as well as keeping the url link clickable.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Appleton http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Experience-Better-Relationships&id=2141561
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Of course there is! There are lots of people who find that they can experience better relationships when they start to feel better about themselves and their lives. If you want to be able to receive something, you have to be able to give it in return. So, you have to be in a position where you feel as though you can provide someone else with what they desire and then you will be ready to receive what you really want.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
There are many ways that you can begin to experience better results in your life, but you have to be able to at first want to have this happen badly enough that you are willing to change how you think and feel about love and dating and relationships in general. If you already have a very negative outlook, you are not going to be able to feel the romance that you really want in life.
You can learn how to attract better results in your life and this includes what you experience in a relationship as well. All you have to do is want to change and start looking for a way.
Learn how to attract love, money, or happiness or all three in YOUR LIFE NOW! Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter and BOOKMARK the site and return as often as you can!
You can attract the life that you truly desire! Learn HOW! http://www.successfulfather.com/signup/Law of Attraction Secrets
Bryan Appleton is an investor/entrepreneur who has dedicated himself to teaching others how to achieve their dream life. He is also a proud single father with one son.
You can publish this article as long as you leave it intact and in full as well as keeping the url link clickable.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Appleton http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Experience-Better-Relationships&id=2141561
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
Boyfriend Break Up - Is It Possible to Get Ex Back?
Did your boyfriend break up with you? This is a rough time in your life. You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.
First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You can spend time trying to get your ex back. If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:
· Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him. So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.
· It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. It may even make him want you back more.
· When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.
But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.
One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart. You can talk about the good times and bad. You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names. But, don’t mail the letter! Instead, take a candle out and burn it. This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.
The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Get the econ textbook you lent him. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.
After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.
It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you. But it isn’t the end of your life. You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.
Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.
True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You can spend time trying to get your ex back. If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:
· Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him. So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.
· It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. It may even make him want you back more.
· When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.
But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.
One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart. You can talk about the good times and bad. You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names. But, don’t mail the letter! Instead, take a candle out and burn it. This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.
The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Get the econ textbook you lent him. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.
After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.
It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you. But it isn’t the end of your life. You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.
Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.
True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
He Dumped Me - How Will I Survive?
If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.
When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.
Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.
You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.
In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.
In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.
If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.
There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.
As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.
The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.
Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.
And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.
Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.
You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.
In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.
In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.
If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.
There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.
As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.
The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.
Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.
And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
7 Steps to Successfully Save Relationship
It's the same old story, Bob works long hours and Jill doesn't feel he is there for her. Jill spends her days focused on the children's needs and Bob feels neglected as well. Is this a relationship that can be, or even should be saved? Good question.
The first step is to decide whether the relationship should be saved or not. This is based on whether both partners are committed to doing the hard work necessary, to make the relationship work. If not, if one or the other has opted out and refuses to opt back in - good luck! While almost any relationship can be saved, it takes the hard work of both partners to make it happen.
A great many people will remain in a relationship because of children, or because it's easier and more convenient than making a major lifestyle change. However, saving a relationship will require the commitment of both partners.
Step 2 is to identify the specific problems in the relationship. Often times people are unaware of the real problem and tend to focus on the symptom, such as an affair, instead.
In actuality the affair is merely a symptom of a much deeper problem, such as a lack of intimacy in the relationship. This problem can cause numerous symptoms such as an affair, if its not identified or dealt with. If the focus is on the affair, rather than the underlying problem with intimacy, the partner may just trade one symptom in for another. Giving up the affair, for example because of guilt and moving on to pornography. The underlying problem must be recognized.
Focusing on core problems, will enable the relationship to be saved.
After underlying problems are identified, you can then move on to a true dialog between partners and a real discussion of thoughts, feelings and concerns. Hold your partners hand and demonstrate that you want to reconnect with them during this process, especially since emotions may be flying high. When your partner speaks, avoid being defensive even if it is hurtful. Focus on the fact that they are not trying to hurt you, but rather on improving the relationship.
Now that the underlying problems have been identified and detailed, you need to create a plan of action to deal with these problems. You need to list and take very concrete steps in your action plan. There is no place for any ambiguity. For example, if you need to take more together time, then designate one or two nights a week, to go out on a date. Take turns with your ideas and preferences and be creative on how to spend your time together. If the underlying problem is a lack of communication then commit and spend 30 minutes a night, prior to bed time, to just talking with one another.
Finally, both partners need to recognize that relationships are an ongoing process. There is no room for complacency, without the risk of problems developing. Sometimes you make progress in one area and slip a little in another - its OK, if you're truly committed to the process overall. You need to be able to accept both the successes, as well as the failures and like the old saying goes, "be quick to apologize and slow to blame!"
Is your relationship worth saving - you should be in a better position to answer this question after reading this article.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
The first step is to decide whether the relationship should be saved or not. This is based on whether both partners are committed to doing the hard work necessary, to make the relationship work. If not, if one or the other has opted out and refuses to opt back in - good luck! While almost any relationship can be saved, it takes the hard work of both partners to make it happen.
A great many people will remain in a relationship because of children, or because it's easier and more convenient than making a major lifestyle change. However, saving a relationship will require the commitment of both partners.
Step 2 is to identify the specific problems in the relationship. Often times people are unaware of the real problem and tend to focus on the symptom, such as an affair, instead.
In actuality the affair is merely a symptom of a much deeper problem, such as a lack of intimacy in the relationship. This problem can cause numerous symptoms such as an affair, if its not identified or dealt with. If the focus is on the affair, rather than the underlying problem with intimacy, the partner may just trade one symptom in for another. Giving up the affair, for example because of guilt and moving on to pornography. The underlying problem must be recognized.
Focusing on core problems, will enable the relationship to be saved.
After underlying problems are identified, you can then move on to a true dialog between partners and a real discussion of thoughts, feelings and concerns. Hold your partners hand and demonstrate that you want to reconnect with them during this process, especially since emotions may be flying high. When your partner speaks, avoid being defensive even if it is hurtful. Focus on the fact that they are not trying to hurt you, but rather on improving the relationship.
Now that the underlying problems have been identified and detailed, you need to create a plan of action to deal with these problems. You need to list and take very concrete steps in your action plan. There is no place for any ambiguity. For example, if you need to take more together time, then designate one or two nights a week, to go out on a date. Take turns with your ideas and preferences and be creative on how to spend your time together. If the underlying problem is a lack of communication then commit and spend 30 minutes a night, prior to bed time, to just talking with one another.
Finally, both partners need to recognize that relationships are an ongoing process. There is no room for complacency, without the risk of problems developing. Sometimes you make progress in one area and slip a little in another - its OK, if you're truly committed to the process overall. You need to be able to accept both the successes, as well as the failures and like the old saying goes, "be quick to apologize and slow to blame!"
Is your relationship worth saving - you should be in a better position to answer this question after reading this article.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
Five Important Keys to Dating Women
Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date girls if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you.
Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating girls.They are:
Girls are not guys. They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don’t like this. Save this type of behavior for guy’s night.
Girls are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place. Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.
Girls are not guys. They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one. Maybe later – way later, like after the kids become teenagers – it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.
Girls are not guys. They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn’t notice or care how you paid). Don’t make your date think that she is not worth full price.
Girls are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.
Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating girls will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating girls will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, “Be yourself.”
That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating girls list, don’t be yourself. Be better. Remember these five most important things about dating girls and have a better dating life.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating girls.They are:
Girls are not guys. They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don’t like this. Save this type of behavior for guy’s night.
Girls are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place. Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.
Girls are not guys. They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one. Maybe later – way later, like after the kids become teenagers – it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.
Girls are not guys. They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn’t notice or care how you paid). Don’t make your date think that she is not worth full price.
Girls are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.
Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating girls will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating girls will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, “Be yourself.”
That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating girls list, don’t be yourself. Be better. Remember these five most important things about dating girls and have a better dating life.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
How to Avoid Love Break Up
If you’ve ever had your love break up you know how painful it is. And if you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn’t recognize before. If you’ll remember those signs and keep them in mind, they can help you prevent a break up in the future. And they can also help you get back together after a split.
One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn’t just mean sex. If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that’s a good sign that a break up is coming. But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there’s lots of sex and times when there’s not much. This is natural.
A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason. Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.
If it goes beyond not touching to the person actually becoming uncomfortable at your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on. Don’t just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there’s about to be a love break up, though. Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment.
A person might have been thinking of something else and been surprised or startled by the touch. He or she might think that your touch signals that it’s time to have sex, if you’re not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate. And maybe your partner isn’t in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch. That doesn’t mean you’re headed for a love break up.
Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person’s behavior doesn’t signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship. You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it’s a permanent part of the person’s make up.
Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place? Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions. Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn’t just mean sex. If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that’s a good sign that a break up is coming. But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there’s lots of sex and times when there’s not much. This is natural.
A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason. Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.
If it goes beyond not touching to the person actually becoming uncomfortable at your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on. Don’t just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there’s about to be a love break up, though. Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment.
A person might have been thinking of something else and been surprised or startled by the touch. He or she might think that your touch signals that it’s time to have sex, if you’re not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate. And maybe your partner isn’t in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch. That doesn’t mean you’re headed for a love break up.
Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person’s behavior doesn’t signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship. You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it’s a permanent part of the person’s make up.
Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place? Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions. Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
Relationship Advice for Men - Looking at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?
Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.
How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.
Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.
The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.
Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.
A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.
It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.
Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.
So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.
How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.
Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.
The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.
Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.
A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.
It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.
Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.
So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
by gmarlett Copyright 2009 All rights reserved
Download The Magic Of Making Up System
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